I use to want to change myself. I use to feel insecure about my inability to be as free and outspoken as others. I use to write in my journals declarations of the new me. I convinced myself that one day I would be so free that people would look up to me. I was young and full of hope, but the problem I had was I thought I had a problem in the first place. I hated that I was so serious and so sensitive. I hated that I wouldn’t share my inner thoughts in a discussion. I really didn’t want to be myself because I thought it was something wrong with me. I wanted to be free of that burden. Once I started accepting myself, I stopped seeing the negative parts of my personality. I stopped trying so hard to change myself. I became free once I decided that I didn’t have to be a certain way to add value.
What a time to be alive with conveniences like Uber when we need a ride or Uber eats when we don’t feel like cooking. In my lifetime there was such thing as letters that you sent in the mail. I actually had a penpal back in those times. I mean it was my cousin, but still, we sent actual letters through the actual mail. It is amazing that writing letters were a thing that existed now that we have email. There is also What’s App. Before What’s App, I ran up my mom’s phone bill trying to stay in contact with this guy I met in Jamaica. This is when people used calling cards. You went to the store and bought cards with minutes when those minutes ran out the call would drop. My little desperate teenage self decided to use the regular phone line when I ran out of minutes and got myself into trouble. Anyway now there is What’s App, Hallelujah and this is how I maintain my long-distance relationship.
If you think this is about a person stop here. I don’t want to mislead you. No seriously.
I have been MIA for a while and I left off with a natural hair post. I have not forgotten about it. Actually, writing on this blog is always on my to-do list, but more urgent task always pop up. Anyway enough of that.
I went back to the DMV for the holidays. For those of you who do not know the DMV stands for D.C, Maryland, and Virginia and includes the surrounding areas near D.C. There are D.C. natives who police those who say they are from the DMV, but even airports that are far from D.C. claim they are in D.C. Take Dulles for example, it is located 26 miles from the city and if you look up airports in D.C., this is one of three to pop up.
I watched Love and Hip Hop Miami and it finally hit me how toxic this show is. It’s all about insecure people blaming and projecting their self hate on others. They lie, cheat, scream, and fight all to show others how important they are.
What caught my attention in this season was a clip of Amara La Negra explaining her racial background to Young Hollywood. He made an ignorant comment about her afro not being elegant and he acted like he didn’t understand the meaning of Afro Latina. Fast-forward a few episodes and Amara and her friend Veronica Vega are fighting from what stemmed from an ignorant comment. After this I decided that I had more than enough drama for one day. Amara’s storyline is relatable, many naturals know the struggle of wearing kinky hair. It is seen as unprofessional and it is not acceptable in our own community. However, it is not any ones job to accept you, that’s a personal problem.