I use to want to change myself. I use to feel insecure about my inability to be as free and outspoken as others. I use to write in my journals declarations of the new me. I convinced myself that one day I would be so free that people would look up to me. I was young and full of hope, but the problem I had was I thought I had a problem in the first place. I hated that I was so serious and so sensitive. I hated that I wouldn’t share my inner thoughts in a discussion. I really didn’t want to be myself because I thought it was something wrong with me. I wanted to be free of that burden. Once I started accepting myself, I stopped seeing the negative parts of my personality. I stopped trying so hard to change myself. I became free once I decided that I didn’t have to be a certain way to add value.
I knew that writing was my calling at a young age. I started out making goals of becoming an author. “I’m going to be an author by the age of 30”. I was so serious about my goal that when I was a teenager I took a writing workshop with an author name Marita Golden. She has several books, but her memoir Don’t Play in the Sun, really touched me. I like this book so much that I was compelled to reach out to her. I don’t really know if I actually wrote her a letter, but I ended up in an all day Saturday workshop with her and a handful of others. At that time I thought poetry was my thing and I thought I would write a poetry book.
One aspect of living in Kuwait that I find amazing is the lackadaisical, everything will work out attitude. The way people drive on the road like there’s a constant emergency you wouldn’t think this is true. In fact, there are times, more times than not, that you will get hit with Inshallah- meaning lord willing or also we will bring Allah in this because it is not my top priority.
Juxtapose with America’s get it done now by any means necessary mentality and you can spend your time being frustrated. When I first got here, my frustration was always simmering underneath, not too far from boiling over. While I may not be a stickler for time I do appreciate that important matters get dealt with immediately. Getting proper documentation usually takes time, but there is allotted time for these things to get done. It also goes without saying that most professionals get the work done in that allotted time. This was not my experience when trying to get my residency.
I bought my first car from the money I saved when I was 24 years old. I had a 1999 honda civic and I still love it. I didn’t realize how much I struggled until I bought that car. One thing I miss about being in the states is the convenience of driving. I could drive in Kuwait if I wanted to, but the question is do I want to drive in Kuwait?
The answer is no. Why? You might ask since I miss driving in all? The answer to your question is very simple, people drive crazy here. They make road rage in the states look like child’s play. People are so aggressive that even as a passenger I get stressed out. There are so many times when I almost got in an accident. I have actually been in two accidents.
When adulting you have to buy groceries to live. You can eat out every night, but that gets expensive. I bought groceries many times that went bad just because I didn’t feel like cooking. I also notice that most of my unhealthy food choices came from being extremely hungry and I was extremely because I didn’t prepare my food to go. So I decided that I had to have my food ready to go. Read More